about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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