I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
