you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize