Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
