i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
