i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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