your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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