This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
