we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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