I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
