Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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