Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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