8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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