oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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