i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize