i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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