Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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