Whod you bang
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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