One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
