Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Randomize