I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
