You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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