did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
