So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize