Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
