By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I believe in your delicious
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
