You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
