i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
