1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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