Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize