yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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