Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Pants are for mortals
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
