I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
