PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
