I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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