You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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