$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
