this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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