the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
