im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
