Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
