Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
