This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
