I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
