Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
