I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
