We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You need a sexual gate keeper
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
