So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Four minutes until I can fart!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
