this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
