Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
