she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My bed smells like the plague
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
