I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
