as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
