YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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