wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
