Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
