so let's talk penis.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize