Sry I called you an 8
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she told me i tasted like america
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
