He disabled his match.com account in front of me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
