that's an acceptable place to lick
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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