see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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