I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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