i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
