What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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