She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Found your dick twin last night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
