Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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