At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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