Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
