Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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