It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
