Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
