Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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