And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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