So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
