The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
