There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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