I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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