sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
