the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You smell like stripper and shame
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Houston, we have a blender
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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