For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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